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July 13, 2008

Peter Abilla
no nic
shmula
» We Adopted Again

Our little baby boy was born June 23, 2008. Lakin (pronounced “lay-kin”) is our 8th child and we brought him into our family through the blessing of adoption. For long-time shmula readers, you might remember that we just adopted Mylie in November 2007 and we adopted Preston in November 2006. Yup, we did it again, and we’re very, very happy.

Some people ask why we have so many kids, or why we’ve adopted so much. I’ll attempt to answer those in the People Are Dang Nosy Section Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) section at the end of this post but, first, I want to explain a little about the Adoption Process.

The Adoption Process

The process is challenging. Because there is a lot of ourselves invested — in time, money, and emotion — in the process, we’re willing to put-up with things that I normally would not. This is not surprising; in fact, this is Queueing Psychology at work. As a reminder, below are the tenets in the Psychology of Waiting Lines:

  1. Unoccupied time feels longer than occupied time.
  2. Process-waits feel longer than in-process waits.
  3. Anxiety makes waits seem longer.
  4. Uncertain waits seem longer than known, finite waits.
  5. Unfair waits are longer than equitable waits.
  6. The more valuable the service, the longer the customer is willing to wait.
  7. Solo waits feel longer than group waits.

The process itself can clearly be improved. Below is the process that we went through for both of our adoptions. Because there is no “adoption” Standard Work, then you will find a lot of variation in the industry and, we all know, that variation from a process perspective isn’t a good thing and leads to an inconsistent and poor customer experience. Nevertheless, below is our experience — someone smart like Karen, Mark, Ron, Jon, Kevin, Ted and Lee, Mark, or Mike can probably map this quickly and build a culture of improvement around Adoption in general:

  • Search for Adoption Agency
    • Download Packet
    • Print Packet
    • Fill-out Packet
    • Mail-in Application
  • Submission
    • 3 Reference Letters
    • Fingerprints (6 week wait)
    • Health Assessment for everyone in family
    • Proof of Marriage
    • Employment Check including Financial Health
    • Homestudy (took about 1 month)
    • Family interview
    • 1:1 interviews
    • Agency Write-up
  • Approval
    • Agency Committee reviews file
    • Accepted as Adoptive Family
    • Create Profile (parallel process above, 2 weeks)
  • Matching
    • Agency calls us to tell us situation & ask permission to show our profile
    • If no, then we continue to wait
    • If yes, then Agency shows our profile to Birth Mother
    • If Birth Mother chooses our profile, then we meet Birth Mother
    • If we like birth mother and she likes us, then we are matched.
  • Birth
    • Make arrangements for day of delivery
    • Relinquishment in Utah is 24 hours after delivery
    • After Birth Mother signs relinquishment papers, then Adoptive parents sign documents & pay Agency Fees.
    • Bring baby home.
  • Post-Placement
    • 3 post-placement visits by the Agency at 2, 4, 6 months.
    • After last post-placement & 6 months after relinquishment, then can finalize with attorney and judge.

Adopted Versus Biological

Guy Kawasaki — a fellow Asian and someone I admire — has adopted a few kids also and said this — something that I believe is true and important:

You can love an adopted child as much as a biological one. A man’s contribution to a pregnancy lasts about ten seconds — five if he told the truth — three if you asked the mother. And yet I’ve met many men who who were skeptical about adoption because they didn’t think they could “bond” with a child that didn’t have their DNA — ie, the ten-second commitment. This is simply not true: when you hold your precious jewel for the first time, no one cares if none of those chromosomes came from you. Certainly not the baby. Certainly not your wife. So get over it. Your DNA isn’t the Holy Grail — to mix several metaphors.


Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Dude, so why so many kids?

My wife and I love children and we believe in the institution of the family. We have 5 biological kids — 3 singletons and 1 doubleton and 3 adopted — but they are all thankfully ours. By the way, the ’singleton’ and ‘doubleton’ talk is old Set Theory talk coming out. Fun.

Even more fundamental, though, is this: when all is said and done, on my death bed, I will not wish that I had spent more time at work or other similar activities. All I will take with me are my relationships and my memories. The most meaningful relationships are those with family and with dear friends. We believe in the family; it’s where my wife and I receive our greatest joy, experience our toughest challenges, and also where we gain our deepest learning.

So, are you a white guy? What are you, bro?

Actually, I’m not Caucasian. I’m Filipino, my wife is Caucasian, we have 5 biological kids together (so they are 1/2 Filipino and 1/2 White, and 3 kids that are African American.

Hey man, why adopt? — Why you gotta be doin’ that?

Good question. My wife and I can produce biological children. My wife has always wanted to adopt — her heart is big, kind, and charitable — and she teaches me everyday. I have come to believe in adoption and am a huge proponent of it now.

There are many children in the world that need loving parents. We are doing our part to help in the most meaningful way we know how: bringing children into our family, parenting them, teaching them to be the best they can be, and watch them grow and contribute back to society. We’re really blessed to be the parents of our children.

What kind of car fits all ya’ll?

We drive a big 15 passenger Ford Econoline Van. I’ll be the first to admit that the Van is not cool, incredibly offensive to our environment (I’m really sorry), but it’s what fits our family. I have attempted to make it less uncool by installing 2 DVD players in it that drop from the ceiling. The 2 DVD thing is pretty cool.

Ummm, so wachu tizzle, wizzle?

I’m not sure what you mean, but drizzle, fizzle.

Hey, so where’d your hair go? — You are balder than an eagle, man. Dang, you ugly.

Thanks for noticing. Yes, I have no hair. I am developing a theory about hair and here it is: I believe that hair is for the insecure. Deep inside, you’re hiding something.

Do you drive like a big ‘ol bus or something?

Please see response above but, to answer you briefly — Yes.

Man, your house must be packed. How many bedrooms you got in that thing?

We live in a modest home. We have 10 bedrooms, but our kitchen and living room are a little smaller. Pretty much all of the square footage in our house is in bedrooms, but every child has their own room and my wife and I have our own room that she let’s me share with her.

That’s pretty cool that you’ve adopted so much. Good job, man.

Thank you.


Articles on Ethnography and Design:

  1. Feature? What Feature?
  2. Simplify The Product
  3. Ask Aza Raskin
  4. Aza Raskin on Poka-Yoke & The Humane Interface
  5. Aza Raskin on Quasimodal Design and The ATM
  6. Aza on Feature-Bloat and Site Clutter
  7. Aza on Google Search Results Page
  8. Aza on Cooperation and Team Size
  9. Design Thinking in Medicine
  10. On Designing a Watering Can for Little Hands
  11. Queueing Theory and Visual Management
  12. An Interview with the Inventor of “Clocky”
  13. Bad Breath but Good Design
  14. What is Ethnography

Articles on Leadership:

  1. Overmanaged and Underled
  2. Colin Powell on Leadership
  3. Team or Staff?
  4. Tipping-Point Leadership
  5. Abraham Lincoln on Leadership
  6. How to transform an Organization: Chime-in Before Buy-in

Articles on Queueing Theory:

Articles on Operations, lean and six sigma:

November 17, 2007

Elijah Newren
no nic
Elijah's Blog
» Adoption of various VCSes

There are a lot of Version Control Systems out there, and one of the biggest criteria in selecting one to use is who else uses it. I’ll try to quickly summarize what I have learned about the adoption of various VCSes. There are many people who know more than me, but here’s some of the bits that I’ve picked up.

Perceived adoption from lots of reading

I have read many blog posts, comparisons, tutorials, news articles, reader comments (in blogs and at news sites), and emails (including various VCS project archives) about version control systems. In doing so, it is clear to me that some are frequently mentioned and deemed worthy of comparison by others, while many VCSes seem so obscure that they only appear in comparisons at sites that attempt to be exhaustive or completely objective (e.g. at wikipedia). Here are the ones I hear mentioned more frequently than others:

First rung: cvs, subversion, bazaar-ng,
mercurial, tla/baz, and
git.

Though bazaar perhaps belongs in a rung below (more on that in a minute). There are also several VCSes that are still mentioned often, but not as often as the ones above:

Second rung: svk, monotone, darcs,
codeville, perforce, clearcase,
and bitkeeper.

tla/baz died a few years ago (with both developers and users mostly abandoning it for other systems, though I hear tla got revived for maintenance-only changes). Also, bazaar-ng really straddles these two levels rather than being in the upper one, but I was one of the early adopters and it has relatively strong support in the GNOME community so it’s more relevant to me. Perforce, clearcase, and bitkeeper are proprietary and thus irrelevant to me (other than as a comparison point).

Adoption according to project records

Of the non-dead open source systems, here’s a list of links to who uses them plus some comments on the links:

  • bazaar-ng - WhoUsesBzr - wiki page name is inconsistent; it should be “ProjectsUsingBzr” (compare to wiki page names below) :-). The page is also slightly misleading; they claim drupal as a user but my searches show otherwise (turns out to just be a developer with an unofficial mirror). Hopefully there aren’t other cases like this.
  • codeville - NoPage - I wasn’t able to find any list of projects using codeville anywhere. In fact, I wasn’t able to find any projects claiming to use it either. It must have shown up in other peoples’ comparisons on the basis of its interesting merge algorithm.
  • cvs - NoPage - I don’t have a good reference page, and it’d likely go out-of-date quickly. However, while CVS is no longer developed and projects are switching from CVS in droves these days, it wasn’t very many years ago that cvs was ubiquitous and a near universal standard. Nearly everyone familiar with at least one vcs is familiar with cvs, making it a useful reference point. Also, it still has a pretty impressive installed base; I’m even forced to use it occasionally in the open source world as well as every day at work.
  • darcs - ProjectsUsingDarcs - I strongly appreciate the included list of projects that stopped using their VCS (and why). Bonus points to darcs for not hiding anything.
  • git - ProjectsUsingGit
  • mercurial - ProjectsUsingMercurial - I like how they make a separate list for projects with synchronized repositories (bzr and svk ought to adopt this practice, and maybe others)
  • monotone - ProjectsUsingMonotone - I really like the project stats provided.
  • subversion - open-source-projects-using-svn - wiki page name isn’t ProjectsUsingSvn; couldn’t they read everyone else’s minds and realize that they needed such a name to fit in with the standard naming scheme? ;-)
  • svk - ProjectsUsingSVK - claims WINE, KDE, and Ruby on Rails as users; my simple searches showed otherwise (likely svk developers just knew of developers from those projects hosting their own unofficial svk mirrors). I don’t know if their other claimed users are are accurate or not; I only checked these three.

Some adoption pages point to both the project home page and the project repositories, which is very helpful. The other adoption wiki pages should adopt that practice too, IMHO.

Adoption by “Big” users

Looking at the adoption pages listed above, each of the projects other than svk and codeville seem to have lots of users. Mostly small projects, but most projects probably are are small and it is also easier for small projects to switch to a new VCS. The real test is whether VCSes are also capable of supporting large projects. I’d like to compare on that basis, but I’m unwilling to investigate how big each listed project is. So, I’ll instead compare based on (a) if I’ve heard of the project before and know at least a little about it, and (b) I think of the project as big. This results in the following list of “big” users of various VCSes:

  • bazaar-ng - This is kind of surprising, but Ubuntu is the only case matching my definition above. As an added surprise, they aren’t in bzr’s list of users. (samba and drupal only have some unofficial users; and in the case of samba, I know they also have unofficial git users. Official adoption only for my comparison purposes; otherwise GNOME and KDE would be in lots of lists.)
  • codeville - none
  • cvs - Used to be used by virtually everything. Many projects still haven’t moved on yet.
  • darcs - none of the projects listed match my definition of “big” above
  • git - linux kernel (and many related projects), much of freedesktop.org (including, Xorg. HAL, DBUS, cairo, compiz), OLPC, and WINE
  • mercurial - opensolaris, mozilla (update: apparently mozilla hasn’t converted quite yet)
  • monotone - tough case. I would have possibly said none here, noting gaim, er, pidgin, as the closest but their stats suggest two projects (Xaraya and OpenEmbedded) are big…and that pidgin is bigger than I realized. I guess I’m changing my rules due to their cool use of stats.
  • subversion - KDE, GNOME, GCC, Samba, Python, and others
  • svk - none

Brief notes about each system

As a quick additional comparison point for those considering adoption, I’ll add some very brief notes about each system that I’ve gathered from my reading or experience with the system. I’ll try to list both a good point and a bad point for each.

  • Free/Open source VCSes
    • bazaar-ng (bzr) - Developed and Evangelized by Canonical (backers of the Ubuntu distribution). Designed to be easy to use and distributed, and often gets praise for those features. It received a bit of a black eye in the early days for being horribly slow (it made cvs look like a speed demon in its early days), though I hear that the speed issues have received lots of attention and changes (and brief recent usage seems to suggest that it’s a lot better). Annoyingly, it provides misleading and less-than-useful results when passing a date to diff (the implemented behavior is well documented and apparently intentional, it’s just crap).
    • codeville - Designed by Bram Cohen (inventor of bittorrent). People seem to find the merge algorithm introduced by codeville interesting. Doesn’t seem to have been adopted much, though, and it even appeared to have died for a while (going a year and a half between releases, with other updates hard to find as well). Seems to be picking back up again.
    • cvs - The VCS that all other VCSes compare to, both because of its recent ubiquity and because its well known flaws are easy to leverage in promoting new alternatives. The developers working on cvs decided its existing flaws could not be fixed without a rewrite, and thus created a new system called subversion. cvs is inherently centralized.
    • darcs - Really interesting and claimed easy to use research system written by David Roundy (some physicist at OSU) that is based on patches rather than source trees. I believe this allows, for example, merging between source trees that do not necessarily have common history (touted as an advanced cherry-picking algorithm that no other VCS can yet match). However, this design has an associated “doppelganger” bug that can cause darcs to become wedged and which requires care from the user to avoid. From the descriptions of this bug, it sounds like something any big project would trigger all the time (it’s an operation I’ve seen happen lots in my GNOME maintainence even on modestly sized projects like metacity.) However, developers apparently can avoid this bug if they know about it and take steps to actively avoid triggering it. I think this is related to “the conflict bug”, which can cause darcs to be slow on large repository merging, but am not sure.
    • git - Invented by Linus Torvalds (inventor of the linux kernel). It has amazed a lot of people (including me) with its speed, and there are many benchmarks out there that are pretty impressive. I’ve heard/seen people claim that it is at least an order of magnitude faster than all other VCSes they’ve tried (from people who then list most all the major VCSes people think of as fast among the list of VCSes they’ve tried). It also has lots of interesting advanced features. However, versions prior to 1.5 were effectively unusable, requiring superhuman ability to learn how to use. The UI warts are being hammered away and git > 1.5 is much better usability-wise; it’s now becoming a usable system once users first learn and understand a few differences from other systems, despite its few remaining warts here and there. The online tutorials have transformed into something welcoming for new users, though the man pages (which double as the built in “–help” system) still remind me more of academic research articles written for a community of existing experts rather than user documentation. Also, no official port to windows (without cygwin) exists yet, though one is apparently getting close. Interestingly, git seems to be highly preferred as a VCS among those I consider low-level hackers.
    • GNU Arch (tla/baz) - Invented by Tom Lord (who also tried to replace libc with his own rewrite). Both tla and baz are dead now with developers and users having moved on, for the most part. Proponents of these systems (particularly Tom) loudly evangelized the merits of distributed version control systems, which probably backfired since tla/baz were so horribly awful in terms of usability, complexity, quirkiness, and speed that these particular distributed VCSes really didn’t have any redeeming qualities or even salvagable pieces. (baz was written as a fork designed to make a usable tla which was backward compatible to tla; the developers eventually gave up and switched to bzr since this was an impossible goal.) I really wish I had the part of my life back I wasted learning and using these systems. And no, I don’t care about impartiality when it comes to them.
    • mercurial (hg) - Written by Matt Mackall (linux kernel developer). Started two days after git, it was designed to replace bitkeeper as the VCS for the kernel. Thus, like git, it focused on speed. While not as fast as git in most benchmarks I’ve seen, it has received lots of praise for being easier to learn, having more accessible documentation, working on Windows, and still being faster than most other VCSes. The community behind mercurial seems to be a bit smaller, however: it doesn’t have nearly as many plugins as bzr or git (let alone cvs or svn). Also, it annoyingly doesn’t accept a date as an argument to diff, unlike all the other major VCSes.
    • monotone (mtn) - Maintained by Nathaniel Smith and Graydon Hoare (who I don’t know of from elsewhere). The main thing I hear about this system is about it’s ideas to focus on authentication of history to verify repository contents and changes. These ideas influenced and were adopted by git and mercurial. On the con side, it appears getting an initial copy can take an extraordinarily large amount of time; for example, if you look at the developer site for pidgin you’ll note that they provide detailed steps on how to get a checkout of pidgin that involves bypassing monotone since it’s too slow to handle this on its own.
    • subversion (svn) - Designed by former cvs maintainers to “be a better cvs”. It doesn’t suffer from many of the same warts as CVS; e.g. commits are atomic, files can be renamed without messing up project history, changes are per-commit rather than per-commit-per-file, and a number of operations are much faster than in cvs. Most users (myself included) feel that it is much nicer than CVS. Like CVS, svn remains inherently centralized and has no useful merge feature. Unlike CVS, half the point of tagging is inherently broken in svn as far as I can tell[*] (you can’t pass a tag to svn diff; you have to search the log trying to find the revision from which the tag was created and then use whatever revision you think is right as the revision number in svn diff).
    • svk - Invented by Chia-liang Kao and now developed by Best Practical Solutions (some random company). Designed to use the subversion repository format but allow decentralized actions. I know little about their system and am hesitant to comment as I can’t think of any good comments I’ve heard (nor more than a couple bad ones.) However, on the light side of things, I absolutely love their SVKAntiFUD page. On that page, in response to the question “svk is built on top of subversion, isn’t it over-engineered and fragile?” an additional note to the answer (claimed to have been added in 2005) states that “Spaghetti code can certainly not be called over-engineered.” While the history page of their wiki suggests it has been there for at least a year, I’m guessing the maintainers don’t know about this comment and will remove it as soon as someone points it out to them.
  • Proprietary (i.e. included only for comparison purposes) VCSes
    • bitkeeper - A system developed by BitMover Inc., founded by Larry McVoy. Gained prominence from its usage for a few years by the linux kernel. “Free Use” (as in no monetary cost) of the system by open source projects was revoked when Andrew Tridgell started reverse engineering the protocol (by telnetting to a server and typing “help”). Most users of this system seem to like it technically, but the free/open source crowd understandably often disliked its proprietary nature. I haven’t used the system, but think of it as being similar to mercurial (though I don’t know for sure if that’s the best match).
    • clearcase - Developed by (the Rational Software division of) IBM. Clearcase is an exceptionally unusual VCS in that I’ve never heard anyone I know mention a positive word about it. Literally. They all seem to have stories about how it seems to hinder progress far more than it helps. There has to be someone out there that likes it (it seems to have quite a number of users for a proprietary VCS despite being exceptionally expensive), but for some reason I haven’t run across them. Very weird. I believe it is actually lock-based instead of either distributed or inherently centralized, meaning that only one person can edit any given file at a time on a given branch. Sounds mind-bogglingly crazy to me.
    • perforce - Developed by Perforce Software, Inc. It seems that users of the system generally like it technically, and it has a free-of-charge clause for open source software development. My rough feeling is that Perforce is like CVS or subversion, but has a number of speed optimizations over those two. It is apparently even worse than cvs or svn for offline working, making editing not-already-opened files in the working copy problematic and error-prone unless online.

The major VCSes

Based on everything above, I consider the following VCSes to be the “major” ones:

cvs, svn, bzr, hg, and git.

I’ll add an “honorable mention” category for monotone and darcs (which bzr nearly belongs in as well, but passes based on the Canonical backing and much higher than average support by developers within the GNOME community). These five VCSes are the ones that I’ll predominantly be comparing between in my subsequent posts.

Update

[*] Kalle Vahlman in the comments points out that you can diff against a tag in svn, though it requires using atrocious syntax and a store of patience:

As much as I agree with [the claim] that SVN is just a prettier CVS, [it] isn’t really true. You can [run]:

svn diff http://svn.gnome.org/svn/metacity/tags/METACITY_2_21_1 http://svn.gnome.org/svn/metacity/trunk

to get differences between the tag and current trunk. If it looks horribly slow to you, it’s because you are on a very fast connection. IT IS SO SLOW IT MAKES LITTLE KITTENS WEEP. But it is possible anyway.

There are a number of other good posts in the comments too, pointing out project adoption cases I potentially missed and noting additional issues with some systems that I won’t be comparing later.

November 9, 2007

Peter Abilla
no nic
shmula
» We’ve Adopted a Baby Girl

Our little baby girl was born yesterday.  Mylie is our 7th child and we brought her into our family through adoption.  For long-time shmula readers, you might remember that we just adopted Preston last year.  Yup, we did it again 1 year later, and we’re very, very happy.

The last month has been a humbling experience to spend time with the birth parents.  Building a relationship with them has been great, but an emotional time for our family.  I’m very thankful for them and to them — for the good people that they are and for choosing our family to be the parents of Mylie. 

Here she is — she’s very cute and will probably have a to-die-for Afro Puff:

The Adoption Process

The process is challenging.  Because there is a lot of ourselves invested — in time, money, and emotion — in the process, we’re willing to put-up with things that I normally would not.  This is not surprising; in fact, this is Queueing Psychology at work.  As a reminder, below are the tenets in the Psychology of Waiting Lines:

  1. Unoccupied time feels longer than occupied time.
  2. Process-waits feel longer than in-process waits.
  3. Anxiety makes waits seem longer.
  4. Uncertain waits seem longer than known, finite waits.
  5. Unfair waits are longer than equitable waits.
  6. The more valuable the service, the longer the customer is willing to wait.
  7. Solo waits feel longer than group waits.

The process itself can clearly be improved.  Below is the process that we went through for both of our adoptions.  Because there is no "adoption" Standard Work, then you will find a lot of variation in the industry and, we all know, that variation from a process perspective isn’t a good thing and leads to an inconsistent and poor customer experience.  Nevertheless, below is our experience — someone smart like Karen, Mark, Ron, Jon, Kevin, Ted and Lee, Mark, or Mike can probably map this quickly and build a culture of improvement around Adoption in general:

  • Search for Adoption Agency
    • Download Packet
    • Print Packet
    • Fill-out Packet
    • Mail-in Application
  • Submission
    • 3 Reference Letters
    • Fingerprints (6 week wait)
    • Health Assessment for everyone in family
    • Proof of Marriage
    • Employment Check including Financial Health
    • Homestudy (took about 1 month)
    • Family interview
    • 1:1 interviews
    • Agency Write-up
  • Approval
    • Agency Committee reviews file
    • Accepted as Adoptive Family
    • Create Profile (parallel process above, 2 weeks)
  • Matching
    • Agency calls us to tell us situation & ask permission to show our profile
    • If no, then we continue to wait
    • If yes, then Agency shows our profile to Birth Mother
    • If Birth Mother chooses our profile, then we meet Birth Mother
    • If we like birth mother and she likes us, then we are matched.
  • Birth
    • Make arrangements for day of delivery
    • Relinquishment in Utah is 24 hours after delivery
    • After Birth Mother signs relinquishment papers, then Adoptive parents sign documents & pay Agency Fees.
    • Bring baby home.
  • Post-Placement
    • 3 post-placement visits by the Agency at 2, 4, 6 months.
    • After last post-placement & 6 months after relinquishment, then can finalize with attorney and judge.

Departing Note

Guy Kawasaki was in Utah last week, but I missed his keynote.  People can say what they wish about Guy, but I like him.  I can’t stand Godin, but I like Guy a lot.  He’s adopted a few kids also and said this — something that I believe is true and important:

You can love an adopted child as much as a biological one. A man’s contribution to a pregnancy lasts about ten seconds — five if he told the truth — three if you asked the mother. And yet I’ve met many men who who were skeptical about adoption because they didn’t think they could “bond” with a child that didn’t have their DNA — ie, the ten-second commitment. This is simply not true: when you hold your precious jewel for the first time, no one cares if none of those chromosomes came from you. Certainly not the baby. Certainly not your wife. So get over it. Your DNA isn’t the Holy Grail — to mix several metaphors.

Totally Unrelated But Still Fun

Please find originally-written articles on Queueing Theory below:

For a few articles on Operations, lean and six sigma, please visit the links below:

September 22, 2007

Peter Abilla
no nic
shmula
» She Needs a Car

This post is very different than what you would normally find on Shmula.

At present, my wife and I are trying to raise some funds for my Son’s birthmom.  You may or may not remember that we adopted the most wonderful and beautiful baby boy last November.  It has been almost a year since we adopted and it has been such a wonderful experience.  Since the adoption, we have gotten to know his birthmom, "S",  pretty well.  We didn’t know if she would keep in touch with us through letters, but we hoped that she would.  Well, we have recieved 3 letters from her and it has been neat to learn more about her and also receive some pictures that I know my son will especially appreciate one day. 

"S" has a very good heart.  She has a 2 year old son that she is raising.  She is on her own, as that baby’s father won’t pay child support.  She has been saving her money for some time now to buy a car.  With the winter months coming up in Ohio, it sure would be nice if she could go to and from work in a nice warm car; dropping her son off at day care, shopping, etc., and not have to rely on public transportation with all the snow and cold.  I lived in Ohio for 2 years, and it can get very cold! 

I am asking fellow Shmula readers everywhere to find it in their heart to donate anything to our sweet birthmom.  Even a couple bucks will add up and can really help.  If you normally give to a charity around the holidays, consider giving a small contribution early.  All monies donated will go straight to helping this woman, who lives in the ghetto and is trying her best to live day-to-day and raise a son.  Thank you in advance for your generosity.  I will do a follow-up post in the future with the results.  Thank you!